It's time to find out.
As the parent of a two-year-old, I have a lot of questions. Friends, family, strangers in the grocery store, and of course the internet, have UNLIMITED advice. Most of it is contradictory. Some of it is outdated, too new-age, or just plain weird. All of it gets very loud - not volume loud, but taking up brain space loud.
So what's a mom to do? We ask our own moms (and sometimes do the opposite anyway - sorry mom!), we consult google, ask complete strangers on message boards and in Facebook groups, and trust our children's most fundamental experiences to so-called experts who convince us they have the perfect approach. A simple amazon search for "parenting books" yields over 200,000 results. Clearly, there is no perfect approach.
Because it doesn't work... somehow all of that time tested advice is lost on your kid - whether they are one day old or 45 years young. They can't fall asleep "drowsy but awake," completely reject the meal that was their favorite last week, and forget to tell you when they are coming to visit. So what's a mom to do?
Turn it all off.
It's hard to start listening to ourselves when we're taught all of the answers are available to us elsewhere. But as I've been spending more time practicing and teaching mindfulness, I can't help but notice that if we are really able to listen deeply to ourselves, we have all of the answers that we seek. If you are a mom, then yes, you know best. If not, you still know best. It's a win-win people!
If you're rolling your eyes, I used to be with you. Then I stopped googling. Politely nodded when offered ridiculous advice as Caroline ate Joe's Os out of the box in Trader Joe's. Time after time as I made decisions based on my values and gut feelings about how to deal with a challenge, I felt strong, comfortable, and confident.
Whether you're navigating a new phase of life, a relationship, a workplace challenge, or another obstacle, I invite you to tune in. Sure, ask others what they think, maybe even google a little (but not a lot, or you'll freak out that you have some rare illness, I promise). Then sit with all of those swirling thoughts and do what is right for you. Because those other people (and google) aren't living your life. Their kid is not your kid. Their problem is not your problem and only you have to live with the action you decide to take.
So this month take a little time to just be. Reflect, ruminate, tune in. If you need help connecting to that deeper self, finding time to sit, or just feel confident in taking a different approach, I'm here for you.